SPIRITUAL PROSPERITY

I am one of those people who can easily slip into a very negative state of mind. The slightest knockback or problem can lead to a cloud of doom descending over me, a cloud which I find hard to push away and remove. This article looks at ways in which we can fight back, to quickly get us back into a happy mode.

I used to be quite a fragile character, some would say that I was even scared of my own shadow. I was always paranoid that people were talking about me and laughing behind my back.

Even though my parents are superb, I was not a happy child or a happy teenager. I am so unlucky you see or so I thought. I walked around as if the world owed me something and would often feel very sorry for myself. I was bullied at school, it was more mental bullying rather than anything physical. I am sure that most people also get bullied and deal with it. It would leave me in a state of panic and depression. Looking back I have to say I was a bit of a wimp in reality.

I decided that enough was enough by my mid-twenties and decided it was time to toughen up. I could not continue to live my life as I had been, as I would probably be dead by the time I was fifty.




I then went about a self-help program to increase my overall self-confidence and self-esteem. I wanted to learn more about stress-management, dealing with depression, relaxation and about how to become successful in life.

What I found out over the next twelve to eighteen months would change my life forever.

These are the things I had to do:

I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. Yes I am not perfect but who is.

I had to think in a more positive way.

I had to stop worrying about the future.

I had to stop caring what other people thought of me.

I needed to smile more.

I needed to learn to relax. I now use meditation for this purpose.

I had to learn to like myself.

I needed to become stronger to fight away the negative thoughts in my head.

I needed to appreciate what I did have in life, rather than concentrating on what I had not.


I started to implement the above and it helped me no end. That horrible cloud of doom, still descended however, around once a month. When it does descend, I now write two lists. What I am happy about in life and what I am sad or worrying about. I then analyse both lists and more times than not, I am actually over-reacting.

In conclusion, life is a battle. There are good times and bad. We need to become strong and learn to think in a more positive way. We have to fight back against people who bully us and against the voices in our head who are trying to make us panic. This is not easy, however with determination people are able to turn their life around just like I have.

I used to feel anger towards the people who bullied me at school. I now feel sorry for them. They are the bad apples and I prey for them. I prey that God will one day make them pure.

One of the problems that affect us humans is a state of mind referred to as depression.

Exactly what is depression?

Why do we suddenly find ourselves stuck in a sea of inertia, unable to think positively, unable to hold on to positive thoughts, frozen in a zombie like state of inactivity?

Even experts disagree on the core causes of depression and the methods of treatment. Should they be palliative or something more uncompromising?

This is of course no help to us if we are immersed in the thickening fog of a bout of depression.

If we ever find ourselves in a state of depression we must find and build from within the strength, the motivation, the wish and the will to conquer this debilitating mind set.

First of all we have to accept that we alone allowed ourselves to drift into this parlous way of thinking.

The trigger could have been any one of a million reasons and may well have been an external event over which we had no control, however the antidote  has to be found within us and is under our control.

The first thing we need to understand is that we are not alone.

Read the newspapers and watch TV and over and over again there are accounts of people we would probably regard as ’having everything’ checking themselves into this or that clinic for help with some problem or other.

What for one person may be simply a mild set back can for another become the trigger which then sets off the internal self defeating process of the ‘poor me’ syndrome.

Why is it that a situation which is a mild irritation for one person can lead another to almost suicidal tendencies?

The answer is because we are all different in some way.

A visit to one of the many web sites offering behavioural profiling services will help you to identify your personal style as a first step to better understanding yourself

Once you understand why you react the way you do to certain situations you may then set about arranging your life so as to avoid those situations in the future or at least be better prepared to handle them when they do confront you.

Understanding yourself and why you react the way you do to situations with which you are faced is a prime initial requisite for self help with depression.

Learning, understanding and accepting that we can control what we allow to be accepted as fact by our brain is the next step. So often an initial perception turns out to be inaccurate.  Generally speaking nothing is ever so bad or, as good as it may at first appear.

What is important is to understand that it is possible for us to move to a position where we take preventative steps to ensure that we stay clear of infectious negative thoughts in the future.

Negative thoughts are the seed pearls of depression. These negative thoughts and internal video recordings of past failure and disappointment clog up our brain. They lay there dormant just waiting for the right set of circumstances to explode into action and cloud our thinking.

The late Dr. Hall, a clinical psychologist of international renown devoted his life to helping people understand who they were and then encouraging them to take the necessary steps to become who they really wanted to be.

Doctor George Hall discovered that it is possible to install a brain filter which stops negatives from being accepted by the brain. Just as we may install a virus checker or a firewall on our PC or Lap top we can install the same preventative systems in our brain.

Dr. Hall developed a personal development course called ‘Human Cybernetics’ it was a blueprint to follow for those who really did want to self improve and fully develop their potential in life.

I was privileged to be a student of Dr. Hall in 1975 and the tutorials he led were life changing for those of us fortunate enough to be exposed to his teachings.

Dangerous self talk and replaying internal tapes of past failures and disappointments he always propounded to be the most debilitating of activities a human being could engage in as this activity served only to reinforce a negative self image.

Negative self talk must immediately be replaced by constructive self talk and optimistic visual imaginings. Those negative tapes and videos in the mind must be deleted and recorded over with new images of success and achievement.

There are many self help courses available today. Try running a search on personal development or something similar and you will find many, many sites offering help and assistance much of which is free of charge.

There are also sites offering self-awareness questionnaires which are designed to help you focus on any deep seated negatives which may be holding you back from achieving your life dreams.

This may then be used by you as a platform from which to launch your new beginnings.

Self help for depression is all about taking that first step to control your future thoughts and activity.

Decide today to take charge of your life and to live it as you want to and not as others would have you live it.

Whatever you do, do it for you!

Depression and anxiety appear to be two different emotional responses humans are capable of having.  We do not usually associate these two disorders with each other. But research has shown that depression and anxiety do in fact co-exist, much to the detriment of their sufferers.

When you picture someone with depression you think of all the normal symptoms associated with it: Despair, hopelessness, anger, fatigue, an unwillingness to be a part of society and a feeling of being overwhelmed by everyday life. A depressed person withdraws into themselves and seek to sever all ties with the outside world.

Anxiety attacks on the other hand seem to happen for no reason at all. Feelings of fear and panic happen in situations in which most people would be perfectly calm. These anxiety attacks come on suddenly with no warning and with no outright reason for them to happen. After awhile a sufferer of these attacks begins to live in fear of the attacks themselves, wondering when the next one is going to happen. Before long, and without treatment, both anxiety attacks and depression can begin to affect the sufferers lives in negative ways by not allowing them to hold a job, have a relationship, or even go out into society

What many sufferers of these two diseases do not realize is that either one can lead to the other.  Being depressed can weigh heavily on the mind leading the depressed person through a maze of different emotions. This in itself can lead to anxiety and eventually panic attacks. Panic attacks signify a loss of control and when this happens more and more often the sufferer can become depressed with their situation of not knowing if and when the next attack will occur.

Why these two disorders seem to occur at the same time is still largely unknown. But many studies show that major depression is often accompanied by an anxiety disorder. Both are likely caused by an imbalance in brain chemistry, but exactly why the two seemingly opposite disorders can coexist in the same person is not completely understood. What is understood about anxiety disorder is that the fight-or-flight reaction in the brain does not work the way it is supposed to. It can go off at any time, even in seemingly peaceful situations. Those who have anxiety disorder always feel that they are in danger.

One thing that psychologist agree on is that having a combination depression and anxiety is much more debilitating than having just one or the other. It can take patients with both disorders a much longer amount of time to resolve their depression which makes treating them much harder. It has also been shown that people who suffer from anxiety and depression both have a much higher suicide rate.

While this sounds bad their are options for treating both these conditions. Anti-depressant medications can be used to treat both depression and anxiety. When these medications are used in conjunction with behavioral therapy there is a high success rate of treating depression accompanied by anxiety.

Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like! - How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment. Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it. However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly your purpose was, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart. The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.

Find your flock - Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural. Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.

Set Achievable Goals and Go for it! - The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step. The only way to do something is to GO FOR IT! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.

Although IQ tests measure a certain aspect of intelligence potential, there isn’t complete agreement that what is being measured is actually intelligence.

Standard intelligence tests focus a lot on exploring and measuring linguistic/logical/mathematical ability.  But is that really the same quality as intelligence?  Or is intelligence something broader than that?

We have all met people who have a lot of “book smarts” but seem to have no “life smarts.”  Should we really be saying that they are intelligent?  Some people who did poorly in school often turn out to be very successful in later life.  Why do our current IQ tests seem unable to predict or explain these outcomes?

A person may have failed dismally in school, and yet turn out to be a genius in marketing.  Is this person stupid, or brilliant?  If a man is a great scientist, but can’t ever pick a suitable mate, is he really very smart?

Was Picasso inept because he wasn’t also a brilliant mathematician?  Was Einstein inadequate because he wasn’t also a great artist?

Which of these two men had more intelligence?  Is there more than one kind of intelligence?  How should we define intelligence?  Can we really measure it?  What is intelligence, really?

Several experts in the field of intelligence have proposed that we need to broaden our understanding of what intelligence really is, and the role it plays in successful living.

Psychologist Howard Gardner of Harvard University has suggested that we should consider a wide range of talents and abilities as valid forms of intelligence.

In his intriguing book, “Frames of Mind: Theories of Multiple Intelligences”,  Gardner has proposed the existence of at least seven types of intelligence: verbal-linguistic, logical-mathematical, visual-spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, social-interpersonal and intra-personal.

Another psychologist, Robert Sternberg, has suggested we consider three distinct forms of intelligence.  One type is the ability to think logically and rationally, doing well in an academic type of environment.

A second kind of intelligence identified by Sternberg is the ability to come up with creative solutions to real life situations.  And the third type, according to Sternberg, is the ability to psychologically understand people and interact effectively with them.

A very different perspective on the IQ issue is presented by Daniel Goleman in his best-selling book, “Emotional Intelligence”.   Goleman offers an explanation for why a high IQ does not always lead to success in career or in life.

He says that EQ, or emotional intelligence, has been an overlooked factor that is an extremely important ingredient for success in life.  An ability to get along with others, to be optimistic, to be determined, are among the many factors that contribute to success, perhaps even more than intellectual ability.

Are you starting to realize that intelligence is not just a question of one test score number that forever limits your possibilities?  If we define intelligence primarily as an aptitude for mathematical and linguistic/logical thinking, we may be missing other forms of intelligence that are also important.

If you happen to know your own IQ score, don’t think of it as something that limits or defines your potential.  If your IQ is in the average range it does not in any way mean you are limited to a life of average success and average accomplishment.  If your IQ is in the above average range, it does not guarantee you a life of ease.  You can’t use either a high IQ score or a low one as an excuse not to try very hard.

Your IQ score is only a number.  It does not define you.  It does not really limit you.  It’s just a starting point.  Remember that many other qualities you already possess or can develop are also important for success in life.

Get ready for a golden idea that will accelerate your personal success beyond your imagination.

Are you like most of people who may sit with themselves and define their strengths and weaknesses?

And after that you start developing a plan to improve your weaknesses to become a better person.

And while applying your plan, you face a lot of difficulties and you might surrender with the excuse that it is a habit that can't be changed.

If you are like those people, then accept my apology: you are limiting your chances of success and putting yourself in a great struggle.

By following that method you are wasting time and effort and you are far beyond the fast track to ultimate personal success.

Now forget about that method and let me give you the golden idea to accelerate your personal success:

"Focus 80% of your time and energy building and improving your strengths and focus the remaining 20% on improving you weaknesses".

Don't say it is strange because your strengths will become weaknesses if you left them without continuous improvement.

Your strength will decrease fast while your weakness may improve slowly and you will end up being a "middle" person with no unique talent or value.

To be a person of value you have to focus on your uniqueness and special talent. Develop it, improve it, and the most important thing is: use it, use it and use it.

Forget about your weaknesses; no body is perfect. And focus on your strengths. Focus on the unique value you have more than anyone else.

If you do that you will accelerate your personal success and become a person of great value.

Build on your talents and strengths and don't give much attention to your weaknesses. No body is perfect.

Again, here is the golden idea for accelerating personal success:

"Focus 80% of your time and energy building and improving your strengths and focus the remaining 20% on improving you weaknesses".

My friend, you can make a difference.

I believe in you.

No matter how one looks at it, success and respect come in the form of other people, perhaps even complete strangers. Rare is it in today's world that success will happen in total isolation. No surprise that some of the most successful and respected individuals know a thing or two about how to deal with others. The ability to communicate and influence others' way of thinking, and to actually transform their opinions, is an invaluable life skill.

The obstacle of attaining this life skill is one that everyone faces. Anger, selfishness, and pride all work against our better judgment. The idea is to become proactive, to work toward a resolution rather than toward your own base desires; which will come under fire the more it conflicts with other desires; and so on, until it comes full circle. Disagreements add more fuel to the fire, until neither party is able to influence the other. To be proactive means to step back from the situation, and to examine it from a different angle. Chances are you want your way simply because, well, it's your way. Consider the fact that the other person thinks the same. So be proactive and negotiate yourself out of a one-way street that'll lead to zero resolutions; because while you may get the other person to agree, have you really influenced their opinion?

Look at it this way: "right" is "wrong."

How can that be? The way to peoples' hearts, the way to influence their opinions, is not to impose your will onto theirs'. They first need to see the light before they alter their mode of thought. Approach your opinion as though it were a scientific method, without the pride of being right. It is that very possessive nature that creates disapproval in people. And unless you're in a scientific or highly technical environment, approach the discussion as if it had multiple resolutions. Step outside of yourself and join the team.

The idea is to influence others, rather than simply imposing your will. Become impersonal if you have to; all the better to swim through a sea of ideas and opinions, without the risk of being offended. Assess the problem, and not who said it. A proactive person is more concerned with a resolution than with retribution. The point remains to be said that other variables are at stake, and that "your" viewpoint is not the only path. This does not mean that you cannot disagree. Disagreements are inevitable; but there is a sharp contrast between a personal disagreement and a holistic disagreement. Chances are that a holistic disagreement is a lot more convincing, and more respectable, than a personal one. Because when holistic matters become too personally charged, it becomes detached from a holistic resolution.

The ability to communicate with others is not as vague as it sounds. The abilities to influence and to disagree are the two principle components of a born leader. Because being "right" is only as good as getting the person to agree.

It is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as "fear of failure" but are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as "fear of success"?

Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia - the inability to make decision or take action in case they receive rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairky easy to identify and there are many tools in the personal development industry to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.

Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.

Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse.

You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.

You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.

You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.

Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?

The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are ethe symptoms of the fear of success.

Procrastination - putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner 'demon' at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).

Procrastination is a 'success killer'! How can ou expect to reach your destinationm if you do not take steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development.

Can't see the forest for the trees! - this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well known but have you ever given it real consideration?

Don't get caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the materialised goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.

Thinking that the time is not right - have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?

Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!

Being a perfectionist - this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when its finished it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy them. I think a classic example of this is "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think its good enough!

Seeing only problems - how do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only and alll the problems involved? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead.

"How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?" you say. "Easily", is my reply! Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Everytime you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, "how best can I overcome this challenge?" or "how quickly can I rectify this situation?". The quality of your questions are important as I have outlined in a previous article. Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don't get caught up in it just be prepared.

Enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually your fear of success will dissipate and you will have moved a long way forward in your personal development.

Strategies for Success

What do successful people do that others don’t?

What motivates them to keep going?

Can anyone be successful?

What makes them different from others?


Attitude

Successful people are confident, honest and driven.

These are attitudes, not skill.

Our attitude can improve our skills so we need to change our attitudes and become more focused and driven.

Our minds find it impossible to store all the information it receives in a day and so it deletes the unnecessary detail.  So you need to change your attitude to your business or your life.  You need to set goals, concentrate on knowing what you want to achieve and work towards achieving your goals.

But your goals need to be SMART goals:

Specific – know exactly what you want
Measurable – be able to follow the progress
Achievable – be within your capabilities
Realistic – be possible to do
Time – you must make the time to do it

You need to know exactly what your goals are, be able to set a plan and follow it, be achievable for you (e.g. don’t attempt to be a brain surgeon if you can’t stand the sight of blood), be possible to do (e.g. don’t try and think you can fly) and you must be prepared to put in the time to achieve your goals, or have the time to do it.


Seeing Things As They Are

Some days start off great and just get better while others start off bad and get worse.

Why is this?

It all depends on your attitude and what you’re focusing on.  If you’re in a bad mood then everything will seem bad because you’re focusing on it.

It’s just the same with your goals.  If you focus on missing them, then you will.

You see, our brain never hears the word ‘wont’ or ‘don’t’.  That’s why children always do what you tell them not to.  They never hear the word ‘don’t’.

So if you focus on not missing your goal by thinking ‘I won’t fail’, then you will.  Instead, tell yourself, ‘I will succeed’.


Forget Failure

Children learn faster than adults because they have no fear of ridicule or failure.

Children always look on the bright side:

Kids are curious - Adults are cynical
Kids love puddles - Adults hate rain


Babies learn to walk by setting a goal and working towards it.  When they fall down they adopt a different strategy, such as holding onto the furniture, and then they keep going and learning.  We should take a leaf out of a baby’s book, so to speak.

Never say ‘I can’t do this.’  Just take notice of what’s not working and change strategies.  This will move you closer to your goal.

What else stops you from achieving our goals?


Beliefs

Your beliefs can hinder you or help you, but they can only help you if you understand that they are only beliefs.

Events don’t shape your life.  It’s your interpretation of these events that shapes your life.

Your beliefs and certainties have the power to expand or destroy your true potential.

Beliefs are limiting, so it’s important to understand that they are only beliefs and not reality.

The past does not equal the future.  Just because you haven’t achieved something in the past doesn’t mean you can’t achieve it in the future.

You need to question your beliefs and where they come from.
Remember, you can change – but not if you believe you can’t.

Focus on what your limiting beliefs have stopped you from achieving. Change whatever is limiting you.

If you believe you’ll win, then you will.


Remember that you don’t have to be 100% successful in everything you do to be successful.  Every step you take to achieve your goal is a success.  And if something goes wrong, just chalk it up to experience – we learn from our experiences.


Things You Can Do Right Now

Always ask yourself:

What did I do well today?
What did I learn today?
What am I going to do differently tomorrow?

Never avoid failure.
Stride for success.
Keep trying different strategies.

We slump when depressed and sit tall when we feel successful.  Adopting these postures can affect our attitude and state of mind.

How you feel on the inside can affect how you look on the outside and this can influence people around you.  What you focus your mind on affects your body language.  Therefore you can change your state of mind by changing your posture.  So when you feel depressed, adopt the upright posture of a successful person.

People and circumstances can also affect your state of mind, but this can be controlled.  Instead of giving up letting external factors control your state of mind, adopt a positive attitude, stand tall and refuse to be influenced by negative things around you.

This is easier said than done because our responses are learned and our unconscious mind cannot always distinguish what is and isn’t real.


For instance; if you raise your hand to your mouth and imagine you’re sucking a lemon, you’ll wince.  The lemon may be imaginary, but your mind has a conditioned response which makes you wince.

Therefore, never forget:

If you think you can’t achieve something, then you wont.

                If you think you can achieve something, then nothing will stand in your way.